10/17/2019

You have been rejected

  1. You get rejected
  2. You don’t get it
  3. You get rejected again
  4. You repeat steps 1-3 until you suspect the truth – YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED
  5. You allow the knowledge that YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED to sink in
  6. You see stars, go numb, an internal dissonance drowns out the outside world, you become confused and can’t understand what happened and why. You hold on to hope that it’ not true. You long to skip to step 23
  7. You start registering flashes of pain as the numbness and denial wear off. You desperately want to skip to step 31
  8. You pretend everything is ok and go about business as usual
  9. You look for things to suppress your pain, you eat too much, you zone out on TV, you avoid being alone, you distract yourself constantly with social media and anything you can get your hands on but none of it works
  10. You’re so butt hurt you’re unable to listen to music because it just makes you think about the person that rejected you
  11. Eventually the pain becomes so bad you surrender to it
  12. You feel sorry for yourself
  13. You get legit depressed
  14. You start listening to sad songs constantly
  15. You feel hopeless and become convinced that you will be stuck in steps 16-18 forever
  16. You are sure that everything and everyone sucks
  17. It hurts to breathe
  18. You feel like the smallest tasks like sitting up throughout the day are a gargantuan effort
  19. You persevere through the pain
  20. You put one foot in front of the other while everything hurts
  21. You somehow produce really insightful creative work stemming from your pain
  22. As time passes, you start to get some distance from the situation
  23. You are able to think about what happened without breaking down and feeling like shit about yourself and the world
  24. You analyze what went wrong
  25. You take responsibility for your part in the situation
  26. You learn the lesson that life is trying to teach you. You think you’re at steps 35-36 but you’re not
  27. It occurs to you that there are more and more days where it doesn’t hurt to breathe
  28. You occasionally listen to happy songs and enjoy them
  29. One day you register that the pain has transmuted into this other thing that doesn’t hurt and is hard to name
  30. You start to forget about the person who rejected you
  31. You feel good again
  32. You feel hopeful
  33. You now listen mostly to happy music that makes you feel like dancing
  34. You put yourself out there again with an open heart
  35. Much time passes and you begin to put the rejection of which you no longer remember the details in a wider context
  36. You become grateful for the rejection as you see how it fit into your life, how it made perfect sense and how it’s led you to where you want to be
  37. You become wiser, have more depth, are more filled out and your relationships and your creative work reflect this evolution

taz

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